The other day, I saw a famous copywriter sharing his opinion on a car ad.
Here’s the ad:
***
You want a car that gets the job done?
You want a car that’s hassle free?
You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Let’s talk about features.
Bluetooth: nope
Sunroof: nope
Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope…but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.
Let me tell you a story.
One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.
This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this car is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: it IS a car
This car’s got history. It’s seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It’s not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.
Interesting facts:
This car’s exterior color is gray, but it’s interior color is grey.
In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as “optional.”
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn.
The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died.
The event is chronicled in the documentary “Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”
You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite tv show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It’s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, “It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.”
Let’s face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you.
Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve:
The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
***
His conclusion:
The ad is funny as hell… but it didn’t one bit persuade him to buy.
That’s why JUST being entertaining is not enough.
To which I say –
He completely missed the point.
The reason he didn’t feel an urge to buy is because…
HE WASN’T GOING TO BUY A “fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla” IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Eugene Schwartz famously quoted in his book, Breakthrough Advertising:
“You cannot create desire for a product.”
You can only channel it.
If someone isn’t in the position to buy a 1999 Toyota Corolla right now…
…maybe he already has a car
…perhaps the timing isn’t right
…maybe he can’t afford it yet
It will ALWAYS be an uphill battle.
BUT –
Did you find this car ad entertaining?
Did you laugh when you read this ad?
Did you ENJOY reading this ad?
If yes, it worked.
Because nobody reads ads. People read what interests them.
And this ad interested YOU.
So…
The next time the owner comes around with another ad… another story… another entertainment…
You will read it—again.
…and again
…and again
Until the timing is finally right, when the stars align, and you buy.
(or unsubscribe)
(whichever happens first)
And that is the power of storyselling.
It’s like focusing a magnifying glass under the sun…
If you hold it long enough, the leaf will burn.
(thanks to Daniel Throssell for this metaphor)
The conclusion:
Most people think you sell with a story.
That’s wrong.
A story in an email… or ad… or sales page does not sell.
It’s there to KEEP you reading.
Because the more you read, the more likely you are to buy.
To your success,
– WYH