A few days ago, an email marketer lost his mind over an email.
Not just any email.
A story-driven email.
(I’ll give it to this marketer… when he yelled, “This brand went all-in on storytelling… but here’s what’s holding it back.” He got my attention. *cracking knuckle*)
The marketer pulled out his phone, tapped open the mail app, checked his messages, and –
🤨
🤯
🫠
“WHY IS THIS EMAIL SO LONG?”
“WE LIVE IN THE 21ST CENTURY AND YOU ARE FORCING MY POOOOR LITTLE BRAIN TO READ SO MANY WORDS.”
“MY FINGER HURTS FROM ALL THE SCROLLING.”
“I NEED TO RESERVE MY FINGER FOR SCROLLING TWO HUNDRED SHORT VIDEOS BEFORE I GO TO BED. I CAN’T USE IT FOR READING EMAILS.”
“WHY ARE YOU HAVING SO MANY LINKS?”
“LINKS ARE RESERVED FOR IMAGES. YOU CAN’T USE THAT MANY HYPERLINKS. THAT’S NOT FAIR. OR ELSE WHAT ADVANTAGE I HAVE LEFT WITH MY DESIGN EMAILS.”
“YOU WANT TO DO STORYTELLING BUT YOU AREN’T USING HERO’S JOURNEY! THAT IS THE ONLY CERTIFIED STORYTELLING FORMULA.”
“WHY ARE YOU ONLY APPEALING TO MY EMOTION… NOT USING CURIOSITY BAIT TO TRICK ME INTO CLICKING. ME WANT CLICKING.”
…
..
.
Okay. Maybe he didn’t say these exact words…
But that’s essentially what he’s complaining about.
~ The email is too long
~ Too many hyperlinks
~ Going all in with storytelling, but didn’t use the hero’s journey
~ Not having enough curiosity triggers
Now, before I share with you why this is so wrong, especially when BFCM is right around the corner. Two things:
ONE
It is DUMB to bash an email when you don’t know the context.
The conversion. The long-term strategy. The placement of this email. What goes before… and after this email. etc
What if…
That “tOo LOng mE cAn’T rEad” email killed it and broke a sales record. Then, you’d look like a complete idiot.
TWO
Most of my clients’ bestselling emails? They are long.
Because…
(and I’m going to melt your reality here)
You know who reads long emails?
BUYERS
Not just any buyers. Buyers who want to become loyal, repeat, lifetime customers.
Why?
There are so many “better things” I can do. Watch Netflix. Read novels. Play games. BBQ. Go for a walk. Spend time with friends or family. Poop. Or even… just sleep.
The only reason I’m going to read more of your email — an email selling a physical product — is because…
I LIKE you. I want to learn more about you. I want to buy from you. And I want to buy from you AGAIN.
In addition –
I’ve often discovered that sophisticated customers…
…whose brains haven’t been fried by TikTok or Instagram
…who can still read long-ass emails
…who are not buying because they can’t resist the dopamine impulse… the same impulse that makes you want to buy a discount bubblegum at the checkout line because it’s “right there”
…are almost always better customers.
High lifetime value customers.
Not to mention…
Impulse purchase customers will always lead to more customer support and refund requests.
So, yeah.
I’m not afraid to write longer stories just because your tiny little brain can’t handle over 200 words.
Now…
I don’t know which brand this marketer follows.
He didn’t disclose it.
(My guess is… he’s also afraid that the brand is actually killing it and he just made a dumb comment)
So, I’m not responding to “this exact email” here.
But storytelling works — or else why would all my clients stay with me for over a year? (They have better places to invest that moolah… like super expensive decorations to crush the neighborhood’s Halloween contest last month.)
And more importantly…
Story-driven emails work significantly better during the BFCM season.
Because you stand out.
In a sea of sameness… of soulsucking poster ad emails…
You. Look. Different.
And marketing is all about being different and standing out.
If your “storytelling email” isn’t working… it is not that storytelling doesn’t work… or it has too many words…
It’s because you are BAD at telling stories that sell.
(Hard to hear? I get it. Tough love.)
Advertising pioneer Howard Luck Gossage famously claimed:
“People don’t read ads. They read what interests them… and sometimes it’s an ad.”
Well, even MORE true when it’s email…
“People don’t read emails. They read what interests them… and sometimes it’s an email from Wuyen.”
To be continued…
– WYH